Two Under Two !

Mum," I've got clinic and shopping ,do you want to come for a run?"
well with three days to Xmas and two under two ........ this ought to be fun.!

So Drive Through for coffee and banana bread on the way
 Fat Nana , Feeding Mama , toddler for newbie's first shopping day.

On the  21 st of December ,one thing's for sure, at the shops we won't be alone !
 shoppers , parkers , retailers too, just make sure you don't leave your  manners at home.

We spot a spare spot and Feeding Mumma parks with lightening speed
to get us all out and set up all in order it's quiet a big deed..

Now straight out of the car , Feeding  Mumma springs into routine
"stand clear Fat Nanna , this new double pram is a complex machine".

So our first Xmas shopping  miracle is one for us to keep
for an hour and a half,   both boys stay  asleep!.

Now Fat Nana's browsing will have to be fast
"you can't stop Mum while the boys are asleep "
I will just have to look as we roll right on past!

The first Fat Nana fail of the day is coming up,  to her folly
she goes for a basket but she is promptly sent back for a
trolley!

We head for the checkout ,  the lines aren't too  bad
Admiring newbie, there's still  smiling customers to be had..

 Newbie is crying so Feeding Mumma  says we're stopping
So we all  fuel up for   more power Xmas  shopping..

Grab cuddle of newbie,  Feeding Mamma chows down at the table
"watch his head Mum!", yes dear   .."Iv'e done this before, I'm really quiet able !"

Toddler is fussing , he wants out for a walk
Mum says "no, not enough lunch" and offers more on the fork.

"Common love , he's been such a good boy and he is only one"
by now he will be ready for a play , stretch and run"

"And he doesn't need lunch , he has had half of mine"
and she shoots me that look that says...' you're outta line!

"Ok Mum , I' will  get him out now  so  have it your way"
"But it's you who will be chasing him for the rest of the day !"

"Watch him very carefully , cause if distracted he might run away"
Yes dear  .."I haven't lost a child yet , well not one of mine anyway!"

So we brave the escalators and for a new floor, a new store
We're hunting for batteries, boys togs and  Bon Bons galore

I whisper to newbie , relaxed on my arm, we have to choose fast
cause once you nod off , she will make us walk past !



Feeding Mumma's with newbie for a feed and a change
 Fat Nana's with toddler , flashing shoes keeping him well within range

Walking now  hand in hand he's found a ride to occupy
happy to sit in the stationary car , making broom noises, he isn't t shy

But Fat Nana unintentionally stuffed up on the last shopping trip
and showed him with money the ride will move and go bip.

So now when they are shopping  and he stops for a ride
 he is quiet well aware that someone needs to put  money inside.

We've all had enough , and can't manage even one more store
with toddler contained , babe in arms, we make break for the door..

Outside the heat is oppressive, Fat Nana's has worked up a sweat
there's the car, shopping  with two under two, we've  not a single regret.

We find the car park is much worse than when we arrived
the circling Xmas park-less drivers would eat you alive ..

Suddenly we realize have a Xmas parker  storker en-route
and he  follows Fat Nana and Feeding Mumma all the way to their boot.

Well all I can say is I hope he's a nice daddy who has patience galore
with Fat Nanna , 2 under 2 and the big pram  to get in the door.

With a very successful shopping trip  behind us , we speed off to the flat
Feeding Mumma's  feeding newbie , toddler got  bottle and Thomas  on the mat.

 Fat Nanna's finally finished carting parcels in  for daughter
 Fat Nana says her goodbyes, needing  a big  sleep and lots of water.

The Merrily Bereaved

Today conversations about grief and loss seem to have found their way  into my day . A phone call with a lady who was having a down day as she approaches Xmas after a relationship breakup and losing 2 other people close to her throughout 2017. Thoughts of a lovely friend who lost a parent and preparing my home for a beautiful little family to visit who lost their Grandfather suddenly this year. The sudden tragic loss of one of our family's young doctors. The passing of my old uncle recently....

Xmas being a time we usually spend and celebrate with loved ones, it can scratch the surface of our sorrow  when we least expect. The spreading of good cheer and merriment is enough to make the recently bereaved turn violent towards devices that bleat out cheery Xmas carols. I acknowledge that for some of us Xmas may not hold happy memories and that some relationships are not perfect but a loss is a loss. We may be missing the one who usually Xmas cooks for us, decorates the home, does the Xmas shop, plays Santa, plays cricket in the back yard with the kids, is the holder of batteries for Xmas toys, carves the turkey or the ham , assembles all gifts that require assembly, takes the kids fishing or to the beach, decorates the house, puts up the lights, insists on Xmas light drives even when the kids are all over 18!, shares Xmas eve or midnight mass with you. Xmas memories of our loved ones can leave us in fits of laughter as well as floods of tears, several times in the one day ! 

The year my brother passed away I felt like standing in the middle of a department store and screaming out 

"how dare you all go on as normal , don't you know my brother died". he died in the June and I wasn't too bad for a while but the week before Xmas I was a blubbering mess.  I seldom spent Xmas with my brother who lived on the other side of the country but I did always post him a Xmas card and gift and we always called each other on birthdays and Xmas. It was one of the highlights of my Xmas , way before mobile phones raised their ugly heads, he would call me before he went off to Xmas lunch with one or other of the families in the tiny town he lived in. I used to worry about him being alone at Xmas but after he died we found out that of the 23 years he lived their he never spent one Xmas alone. Locals made sure he always had a Xmas lunch to attend. I guess the ritual that tripped me up that year was the shopping and posting of  Xmas gifts to those "down south". Not shopping or posting a gift for him that year somehow made his passing ever so much more real.

This is what gets me through 

• Acceptance accept that the day will be a little different than before you lost your loved one, accept that it may be difficult for you and others, don't forget about the children's grief. You may not feel like having Xmas, celebrating, decorating or partying or cooking and maybe you just don't have the energy. However you feel just accept it , it is what it is.
• Have a plan you may not stick to it but having a plan will help you feel more in control. So you may have a simpler plan or a different plan for the first Xmas day , go out for lunch , have it at a different venue than you normally would, having a planned routine for the day will help when you just can't think and will keep you busy. Plan an escape route so if you are sad and you don't want to be in front of everyone, an afternoon nap is always a good excuse,
• Their Stuff having their stuff around helps me , Mum's decorations , a couple of her ironed lace hankies under my pillow, a new framed photo of the loved one, my brother's fishing hat strewn somewhere among the crowd on Xmas day.
• Share Memories I didn't spend many Xmas days with Mun and Dad as an adult . As a child having Xmas in the family home , the adults sat at the table and my nieces and nephews and I sat at the children's tables and chairs . I had to sit on the wooden "potty " chair with them and I hated it !. It is not my fondest Xmas memory.  Probably why I try really hard to have us all at the Xmas table , 17 of us ...lol . The children's grandfather was a darling man and I often tell them about the gaudy , crazy Xmas shirt he would drag out every year.
• Participate in Ritual stick to an old ritual , modify it or create a new one . I like to hang baubles that I have bought for that loved one on the tree and go to church for them. Some like to light a candle in their home or in Church for their loved one. I've never been a grave person myself , but my sister likes to visit and decorate our family graves. Cooking of a loved one's traditional Xmas dish is also a goer in our home with me charged with making Mum's trifle,this year . God help us!
• Self Care is very important for the bereaved but especially on one of the "first" . Take the stress off , simpler presents , simpler wrapping like bags instead of being up half the night wrapping ,simpler meal , simpler day, skip those in your life that you need energy to cope with , even if grief has robbed you of your appetite eat... well (on Xmas day ??)and try and get enough sleep and water. Grief is exhausting  and sometimes when we are not feeling our best being around others is a huge effort. Express your feelings , talk , cry, meditate, write , draw, create...
• Remember Others   the lady I mentioned at the beginning of  the  post has decided not to travel to her family for Xmas this year but rather spend it with her good friend who lost her husband suddenly this year. She has also put an add in the Free Press in her little town having an open house for Xmas lunch so nobody need be alone on Xmas day.

 Leave a comment and let us know your tips...

Lessons from our decorations!

Lessons from our decorations

Sometimes my life is clean and fresh and I feel glistened, pure and white.
(primary school child's hanging wall decoration made from metal tray featuring snow scene)

Other times something is broken or missing in me , others or life , I just don't feel quiet right.
(ceramic virgin Mary and one of my Santa's from my collection had a punch up and both had right below the elbow amputations , luckily no antibiotic resistant hospital acquired infections were contracted. the Willow angel joined in on the malay and has lost her bunch of flowers so doesn't look good or smell good anymore and can no longer fly).

I can get withered and melted and wonky, my rhythm is off and my music would give you a fright.
(My mums melting Xmas angels from her nativity scene, now immigrated to our nativity scene after she passed away , unfortunately the hotter climate here has seen the weight melting off these angelic waxy beings).

And my bells can fall silent , my ribbons go missing and baubles are not bright.
( Mums Xmas decos again. the bells are very old and the baubles need to ribbons to hang again on the Xmas tree. This was obviously a job Mum never got around too before she died ..but i will finish it for her xx)

I can let life mold me all outta shape, I can fall on the floor , go to pieces and break.
(primary school child's clay tree hanging decorations )

When I just can't get my bows on straight or colour between the lines.
(Different primary school child's tree hanging decorations)


I dig deep and smile  and chuckle like the snowman at silly hard times.
(My Mums old Xmas snowman )

So stand tall and straight above the crowd , speak justice and truth ...out loud
(Tall skinny Santa , mine )

And I find joy in my loved ones, each and every one of whom I'm so proud
(a different tall skinny Santa , mine )

I can end up on Santa's naughty list if I fail, and then start again cause on we must sail.
(sitting on edge ceramic Santa writing in his list ..mine)

Soooooo...
it doesn't matter if we are pure and glistening, broken or bright. if you are melted, wonky , bent out of shape or in pieces, are proud and loud with your crowd, smiling or chuckling and hopefully definitely on Santa's naughty list !!...because I'm pretty sure that the baby Jesus didn't come into this world for the perfect...

Lessons from our nativity Scene

Sorry guys but I think the moral of our family's nativity scene carried a message for us gals...
because we can worry that our mothering is not good enough and if our babies have everything they need...
because apparently......even if you are a one armed , young virgin with a much older hubby who couldn't even manage a video blog while driving the SUV to your birthing place but instead transported you by donkey...
and you managed an unassisted , drug free vaginal , home  birth  in a manger without CTG monitoring, a themed baby shower, a gender reveal do or a pregnancy shoot...
And you  bedded  the Prince of Peace in a manger without a $3000 nursery package and 4 prams from Baby Bunnings (not a typo)..and even if your husband did divorce you "informally" (likely a Centrelink fraud if you ask me)..And even if you were surrounded by melting angels who couldn't play trumpets , sing or fly and the wise men were a no show..even though Nana did put two starts in the night sky cause she wasn't sure which way was East (actually that has probably confused the wise men and their Google Maps straight up ,they are likely lost and we know don't we girls that they are unlikely to ask for direction !!)
Not to mention your angels chowing down on the straw because there were no animals in this manger..(well that's not exactly true, I did have a baby goat turn up at the front door last weekend TRUE , if he just had of said he was here to hang out with The Holy family in my nativity scene, I probably wouldn't have taken him to the animal shelter..
because even with the adversity of living in our nativity scene without all the mod cons and commercialism cons !...melting grounded angels, no animals and absenteeism requiring a performance plan for the 3 wise men...you can still with God's grace raise your baby to fulfil  their  divine purpose..
Merry Xmas and love and peace to all
                                                            God Bless

Now if God doesn't like my dialogue
then beware of plagues of 

• antibiotic resistant hospital acquired infections
• prams
• melting angels
• wise men
• small goats

Twas the week before xmas

TWAS THE WEEK BEFORE XMAS......

Twas the week before Xmas
and all through the town
Xmas deccos were beconing
with prices way down.

The items were stacked
near the specials with care
In the hope that melting Nana
soon would be there.

Decorations were nestled
all safe on the shelf
Real homes would be great
they thought to themselves.

And me with me trolley
you , babe at the breast
Had just settled in
for a long shopping fest.

When from out of the aisle
there rose such a clatter
l was almost distracted
as reductions got fatter.

Away to the mobile
l flew in a flash
To open the App
and find some more cash

The Xmas excitment
of a new fallen pay
Gave rise to the promise
of new deccos that day


But just then behind me
who should appear
But my bossy  accountant
to stop debts in arrear.

With his budgeting App
so accurate and cruel
l knew in a moment
my fun he would steal.

More rapid that xmas bills
that come rolling in again

When he whistled and snorted
and called them by name

Now Efpost, now laybuy,
 now paywave and giftcard.
On Mastercard , on VISA , on Ezipay and storecard.

To the top of the register
to the front of the queue
He made sure melting Nana's
shopping day was through.

Oh dash away, dash away
dash away , do
Needing love , not the decos
in this festive hullabaloo
xx

Whats in a name?

Well if you were wondering about my melting angels ...well the story is this ...
After Mum and Dad died we were clearing out the family home and l came across " the unmelted angels " xmas decorations from Mum's nativity scene.  They hadn't been spotted for years.  l brought them home with me to take

pride of place in our family's natuvity set . unfortunately,  these waxy angelic beings have not aclimatised to Queensland weather as yet and have had a slight melt down !

xmas music lives again

l have been known to enjoy a CD so much that l may or may not have played it over and over  and had even a particar song on repeat a few thousand times to the annoyance of my children , one of whom may or may not have backed over said CD in their car
Well
l bought myself this xmas pressie today
so let the loud amplification of cornie Xmas music begin !!..